


hard to explain, you won't understand

by HarricIsLife



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarricIsLife/pseuds/HarricIsLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not at all certain if any of you will exactly understand what I wrote here, but give it a try anyway. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	hard to explain, you won't understand

**Author's Note:**

> The first three paras are basically me, most of the time, sorry. :/
> 
> The rest is probably what I really want to happen to me.
> 
> I'm not sure if posting it this fast is a good idea (there are probably a lot of edits needed), but oh well.

No one understands him, but he can't complain of the fact, because there are times when he couldn't understand himself. Its not like it usually is when people feel not understood, its similar, yet still vastly different to what he feels. And what he feels is not understandable at all, most of the time, and when he could understand it himself, and needs others to understand, he just fails. He can say a lot, in words, written or spoken, but in as many words he says a tenth of them convey what he _wants_ to say, and its frustrating. He thinks people may understand him better or whatever he wants to say at any rate, without him needing to explain and failing, if they could all just read his mind. But, no he doesn't want people to see his thoughts, jumbled as they are, or even when they are clear cut occasionally, because its  _his_ thoughts, and no one has the right to go through other people's thoughts, even if it means understanding them better.

Understanding others is an art, he has found, or a skill if you will, that only few possess. He is not one of them, because if he can't understand himself, how could he understand others? But impossibly on occasion he has felt that he understood what a certain person meant, wanted, did, needed, or was; in other words he understood someone else, which is just ironic on so many levels. He wishes others understood him better in return at least a little bit, and not just by actions or expressions, but by words he uses, though that is all his fault really, because he just doesn't know what the right words to use are at any given moment.

He was not alone, he never has been, but he preferred it. What he didn't prefer was being lonely, and that is the only thing you _could_ be, if no one understands you or at any rate you feel no one understands you if you wanted to think a little optimistically.

And as such, he was surprised when someone finally understood him, not just the tenth of what he said, not just his words (once again said wrong), not just his actions, not just his expressions, but everything he felt at that moment. And soon everybody keeps understanding him and that keeps on surprising him, and scarily some are even on the mark on what his thoughts are. He feared they were reading his mind, but that fear was rested when his tests proved otherwise, albeit at the expense of him getting funny looks.

And now he had something else he couldn't understand, how the fuck were people suddenly able to understand him, when before they hardly did? The answer may have evaded him for long, but thankfully he was attentive for once, and was shocked of the answer.

He didn't ever think he was smart, but he didn't think he was an idiot either, but that's precisely how he felt when he found out, once he was over the shock that is, which to be honest he was only mildly over so that his brain functions could work, he didn't think he will ever be over this. That proved to be true, when he tested his new discovery which earned him more funny looks. But hey people you never understood me before even when you thought you did, so let me do my experiments, because I'm surprised as hell and still in shock, and stop shooting me funny looks and act all high and mighty because suddenly you can understand me now, and damningly that got understood as well.

It was just a touch, he had discovered, just a fucking freaking touch that made them understand. He didn't know how, he didn't know why, probably to be more ironic than usual. He didn't understand it, or the reason, other than it being ironic of course, but people understood him when their skin came into any bare contact with his, which was astounding, a miracle, an impossibility, but yet it was the truth.

And now his touches meant a lot more than they did before.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this would be long, but somehow it makes sense to end it here, especially because of the last sentence. Tell me what you think about this. :)


End file.
